Get Some Scents: Start Sniffing the Seasons

Walking into my Ma’s house during the holiday season always reminds me of being a kid.  As soon as you walk in the door you get punched in the face by a taste-tastic blend of cookies, Christmas tree, and just enough rum to make it a happy holiday season.  When I started living on my own I tried to copy this smell, however, not having fully developed my crafty bitch powers mixed with copious anxiety brought on by end of term finals meant I didn’t have the time or energy to put into it.  So, what’s a junior crafty bitch in training meant to do?  I bought a candle!  Whomp, whomp.

The problem with Christmas candles, mon petite bon-bons, is that they come in three scents: Vanilla, which is generally tasty but is a smell of any day of the year, evergreen, which is supposed to smell like a snow-filled forest or some bullshit but ends up something more akin to Pine-Sol, and Winterberry.  Winterberry is a variety of holly and, for anyone who doesn’t know, real holly actually smells like a big fat sack of…. wait for it…. nothing!  In an open statement to the candle companies of the world I would like to say:

I’m all about the commercialization of Christmas, but don’t scrape the bottom of the aroma pot, slap a stock-photo on the packaging, and tell me it’s the smell of heart-warming seasons to come.

In an effort to combat shitty holiday marketing ploys, my friend Marlena, who I will now refer to her only as Ms. Cardigan, likes to pull a fast one on her guests and make her own easy-peasy, air-freshener at X-Mas time; or as I like to call it an air-holidizer.  Because being a true crafty bitch is partially being a lazy bitch, she captures all of the dee-lish smells of Christmas with a fraction of the work.  So I’ve decided to steal her idea, tailor it to the autumn season, and take all of the credit.  Huzzah!

So, here goes:
What you’ll need:
1 medium sized sauce pan
2 cups of water

Autumn
1 cinnamon stick
2 apple peels
Spices: ½ tbsn ginger, ½ tbsn of nutmeg, ½ tbsn of all spice
1 vanilla bean or 2 tbsns of vanilla extract
Christmas
1 cinnamon stick
1 orange peel
1 tbsn of ginger
About 4 tbsns of needles from an evergreen tree (think the park, tree farm, etc.).  We’re an artificial tree family, so this ingredient rocks my reindeer socks off.

Slap your ingredients and water in a pot and turn on the oven.  Let your aromatic mixture sit on the lowest heat and if you notice it getting a little dry add some water.  I’m not going to be like the candle-company hoodlums and tell you not to leave your mixture unattended, but I will say don’t be an idiot and burn your house down.

Try your own different concoctions at home—although I recommend not making a smell of spring air-freshener as a whiff of simmering grass isn’t as delightful as it sounds.

Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice,
Crafty Bitch

Song of the Day:

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2 thoughts on “Get Some Scents: Start Sniffing the Seasons

    • Thanks,
      I hope you do, it takes literally 1 minute to make and you just leave it on your stove top all day. People always think you just made a pie 🙂

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