Pick-Up Line? You Mean Beard.

I know that mustaches have been on the rise in popularity as of late, and while I love a good donut-duster, it just doesn’t cut it for me in the way of facial fur.

Think of  all the truly fascinating bearded men throughout history:  Shakespeare, Hemingway, Abraham Lincoln, Zeus, Aragorn, Papa Smurf, Colonel Sanders, etc.  How could one not want to join the ranks of such greatness? Being a lady, however, well… you can see the problem.  I have nothing to stroke when I need to concentrate and I have a perpetually chilly chin in those cold winter months.  Scrolling through Pinterest one day I came across a picture of a girl who crafts and sells woolen beards on Etsy.  I seriously considered ignoring my relentless decent into poverty just because I wanted one so friggin’ bad.  However, the moths that were living in my wallet pleaded with me in their tiny, pathetic voices “Please, Crafty Bitch, don’t take away what little insulation we have left”. Rather than condemn the poor buggers to a sticky bout of hypothermia, I picked through my very fancy, handy-dandy crafting kit (aka, Sobey’s bag filled with sparkles and shit) and fashioned myself some wooly whiskers of my very own.

Yer Bits and Bobs
1. Felt: Pretty much use any kind of fabric you like, I chose felt because I wanted something a little bit sturdy so it wouldn’t go droopy should my beard turn out heavier than I had anticipated.
2. Wool: Any colour wool your wee ticker may desire, I went with traditional hair colour that matches my own.  There’s a joke in here somewhere about carpets matching drapes and only having hard wood.

This Craft takes Balls... of Yarn.

This Craft takes Balls… of Yarn.

3. A needle and thread: but of course.
4. Two hair elastics

Instructions

Step 1- Trace Yo’ Face
If you have a friend or a boyfriend who’s not used to your all of your eccentricities yet, I would recommend giving them a jingle and asking them to come over to help you with this step—it’ll be a dandy little crash course into how frickin’ awesome you can be.  My experience went a little bit like this:

Crafty Bitch: “Here, I’ll just hold this felt up to my face, and you, like, trace out around my nose and chin.  Then feel where my lips are with your fingers and trace around those too.”
Boyfriend: “This is so weird.  You are so bizarre.  What are we doing this for, again?”
Crafty Bitch: “I told you, I need it to make my fake beard!  Do you want to eat the macaroni and cheese I made, or not? Now quit your yammering and do it!”
Boyfriend: “Oh yes, your fake beard, how could I forget.  Hold still, I’ll get a sharpie. Christ.”
Ah, Amore ❤

You’ll end up with something that should be shaped like this:
Screen shot 2012-12-23 at 1.52.16 AM

Step 2- Knot a Thang
Ok, your next step is tedious.  In fact, this entire craft is, for the most part, tedious—it’s not a craft for the faint of heart.  This is a man’s man kind of craft, it’ll put hair on your chest… er, face.   You’ll have to cut your whiskers.  Each one will be about 3 inches long.  It can be a little hard to estimate exactly how many whiskers you’ll need as it’s contingent on that mug of yours, but it’s safe to say that by the time you have enough it’ll feel like you’ve cut 1 kajabillion (real numbers are for nerds).   Then you’ll take at your little mountain of wooly bits and knot them all, right in the centre of each individual little sucker.  These knots will act as anchors for your next step.

A pile o' whiskers

A pile o’ whiskers

Screen shot 2012-12-23 at 1.25.03 AM

My terrible drawing of a knotted piece of wool.

Step 3- Sew What?

Now, there’s probably an easier way to go about this, with a sewing machine, but I like to keep my hands busy while I’m getting my weekly helping of The Walking Dead, so I figured I’d hand-sew them.  Fold the whisker at the knot in the centre, make one little stitch across the two strands, just below the knot, and then one right through the knot just to keep it secure.

Diagram:<br /> Wool in black<br /> Pink depicted in pink

It’s important to remember to evenly space your whiskers apart, if you just sew them in willy-nilly you’ll have some patchy business going on.

Just keep sewing, just keep sewing

Just keep sewing, just keep sewing

Step 4- Fix it to yer Face
So, Now that you’ve got your lovely little beard all finish you’ll have to fasten to your face.  I had a big pack of hair elastics kicking around so I used one on each side.  I sewed them to the corners of my beard and gave it a try-on.   It was a little loose so I just pulled down the corner of the hair elastic and sewed that down as well, making the loop smaller.  It took a few attempts to get the right fit, but now it’s as comfy as if I grew it myself.

Dandy ear loops

Dandy Ear-Loops

Step 5- Sit Back and Bask in the Glory of your Manliness

A face full of scowl

A face full of scowl

Christmas Cards and Cardigans: I’ll be Coughing Glitter for a Week

Hey All, This is a piece I wrote last year and had forgotten to post.  🙂  More like Procrastinate-y Bitch, amiright?

So, over the weekend two of my friends had what I liked to call “First Christmas”.  Both of them are embarking on the crazy, fun adventure of moving to Saudi Arabia for a year to work.  So, my amigos, Crowe and Lady J, unfortunately will be spending their time eating McDonalds that can be delivered 24-hours-a-day and soaking up the sun in one of these spicy little numbers instead of shoveling their driveways and wearing 8 layers of clothes to keep from turning into people-sicles.

What actually sucks about their Arabian adventure is that they’ll be missing Christmas, which they are not allowed to publicly celebrate in the land of milk and camels.  The upside is that we are clever girls who have thought of a way to lesson this sting of holiday-withdrawal:  We had a “First Christmas” for them.  “First Christmas” is just like regular Christmas except no one drunkenly falls into the Christmas tree.  We ate dips and yummy homemade soup and hor d’oerves until we felt sick, then we exchanged presents and then settled in for a long winter’s nap, only to awake for turkey dinner.  Anyway, the point of this scpheel is that because they’ve been downsizing their lives to prepare for the move, Lady J gifted me all of her scrapbooking supplies—I was so excited I almost peed my pants.  So, I’ve been spending the whole day making Christmas cards and I figured I’d share my card-making experience with you 🙂

First and foremost, the first thing I learned was that one should figure out a couple of designs and stick to them.  If you try to get too Martha-y with these bad boys, you’ll get overwhelmed and quit after a couple.  Christmas is not the time to reach for the top; Christmas is a time to reach for the bare minimum and have low expectations of those around you, because, man, we’re all fucking tired.  I’ve been there—trying to wrap gifts and bake 3 fruitcakes, all while trying to transform my humble abode into a Winter Wonderland.  Well, I can tell you from personal experience—I ended up with a garbage can full of wrapping paper, 3 fruit-doorstops and my apartment ended up looking like a holly-jolly holiday hell-hole.  Don’t take on too much, my wee Gingerbread people, I worry about you.

Dos

  • Do look around before you buy, especially if you’re planning on sending out lots of cards.  If you’re willing to dig a little at your local dollar store you can find paper just as good as the fancy stuff.  Likewise, scrapbooking snobs will tell you that you “simply have to get the best quality rubber stamp because yadda yadda will deteriorate in such and such kind of ink” which is, to be blunt, a shimmering pile of reindeer-shit.  Usually that best quality rubber stamp will cost you your first-born and aren’t much different from the dollar-store kind except they might be a little more intricate in design.  If you’re fine with the plainer ones, then punch those stamp-snobs in the face and proceed with your day.
  • Do use glitter.  Some people think it’s tacky, these people have Grinch-hearts and smelly faces.
  • Do stray from the norm and find your own bits and bobs:  I like to use swirl candies in wrappers or pretty bits I’ve cut off of old Christmas cards or newspaper print (non-descript, of course, you don’t want your card recipient reading all about the Scranton Strangler, and whatnot).  I’m not going to patronize you by going through every single item you can stick on a piece of paper–my readers are smart.

Don’ts

  • Don’t spend when you don’t have to—Sure, you can spend 8 bones on pre-folded cards but no one is that lazy that they can’t fold paper.
  • Don’t buy the gadgets— The ladies in my card making class raved about their “paper cutters”.  How convenient, she was selling them for only $29.99.  Do you know what they called “paper cutters” in my day?  Fucking scissors.
  • Don’t stick to my designs– If you feel a crafty wind a-blowing, go with it 🙂

A Girly one— Pink! At Christmas!  Well that’s just re-dick!

Think Pink

Think Pink

A Trendy One– Black and purple, like my bruised soul.
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A Classic Folky One– For all those little kittens on your Christmas Card list who hate straying from tradition (all the people you can’t tell dirty jokes to).
310684_10150402428406026_1805253500_n-1
As I said, I had made a bunch in my first attempts but I narrowed it down to these three that I liked the most for reproduction. Here are the others:
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And the final step is just to fill in the guts of the card.  What to write, you ask?  Well, that’s easy, just follow your heart! Ooooor, this website.

Merry Christmas, ya ho-ho-hos!

Well Hung: Makeshift Chandeliers for the Sassy, if not Classy

So, the hunt has begun for my very own big-people-apartment.  After 7 years of shared bathrooms, divvied-up cupboards, and roommates, I’ve begun looking for my very own place.  I’m not complaining—personally, I think I rather lucked out on the roommate front. But, I need a real home, a place where I can cook naked and let my fuzz-beast run around like the wild-sock murderer he is. Without a properly ferret-proofed home he must be confined to my bedroom.  Look at him, he longs for the freedom that comes with chewing up the inside of boots or sleeping inside a couch:

"Let me be free!"

So, I made a list of things that I’m going to have to buy for the new pad:  couch, microwave, end tables, lamps, toaster, table and chairs, etc.  As you can see, getting settled can cost a pretty penny, so I’m going to have to use some serious restraint when it comes to purchasing the decorative frivolities that I love so very much.    So far, it hasn’t been going well.  I got some cupcake sugar bowls yesterday (although, to be fair, they were a present from my boyfriend who I have dubbed with the very manly moniker of “Panda”), a new duvet cover, some curtains, some embroidered towels– the bill is starting to run a little high for things that serve no practical purpose.  One thing, however, that I really wanted, was one of those cute decorative chandeliers to hang over my bed.  I tried a little online shopping and found that they are, for the most part, super expensive.  I cannot justify shelling out $100 dollars on a mini chandelier that gives off no light and is purely decorative—I did find one however that was the size and shape of a pinecone for $59.99+ $30.00 for shipping.  What a steal! :S

I got on the crafting-pony and rode all over the interwebz looking for help and came across this site. I love that someone took the initiative to put one of these puppies together.  It was super cute and just what I was looking for, but when I ventured out to collect supplies I found that there was not a wire hanging basket, nor mardi gras bead in town.  All I could find was faux pearl necklaces and for 10 dollars a pop I might as well have sprung for a fully functional, crystal fixture.

I was ready to give up on my treasure hunt but I remembered that in a pinch crafty bitches pinch back.  I figured I’d go balls to the wall and try my hand at making one from the ground up, and while it was a lot more time consuming, I’m sure, than using pre-strung beads, I got more of a say over how I wanted it to look.  I figured I’d share with y’all 🙂

Step 1:  Collect Supplies

  • Fishing Line- I found in a drawer
  • Beads-  $3 (on sale) for a pack of 550 at Michaels, I bought three packs
  • 2 Soda Cans- liberated from Panda’s bag of recycling
  • Crafting wire- I had on hand
  • Ribbon- $1 for a spool at the Dollar Store
  • An old necklace- I used the pendant as my dangly-bit and the chain to hang my chandelier, if you don’t have a necklace like this, you can get chain at hardware stores and find a perfect finishing-piece at most crafting stores.

    Legos are Optional

Step 2: Take your Tops off
You want to cut the tops off your soda cans—this is the easy part, just be careful you don’t cut your little fingies, my gems.  Next you want to cut the centre bits out of the soda can tops- one should have a quarter sized hole in the middle of it so there’s enough flat surface to hold a small, battery powered tea-light, and one top should have the entire middle taken out leaving just the rim.   I will from this point forward refer to these as Hole-Top and Rim-Top (creativity at its finest). The cutting can be a little bit tricky, but for the record I found that diet Coke cans have the thinnest metal.


Step 3: Create a Wreath
Loop the wire around a salad bowl to keep it round.

Step 4:  Create a Skeleton
Attach four pieces of wire to Rim-Top and the wire wreath.  This will give you some support as you start to add your beads.

Step 5: Start Beading
 Tie one side of a piece of fishing line to Rim-Top, bead the line, and tie the other end to the wreath.  And I cannot stress this enough: Double knot everything.  Do about 20 bead-strings to start off with.  Make sure that they all have the same amounts of beads, otherwise you’ll have a wonky, lop-sided chandelier.  I used about 22 on each string, but it depends on what sized beads you have.

Step 6: Make a Wire Crossbar
Make sure that it’s tight enough across the Rim-Top that it won’t move around.  This will be what you hang your masterpiece from and it’s got to be sturdy.  I attached the chain from an old necklace then tied the whole thing to an open dresser drawer handle so I can work on it while it was hanging.

Step 7:  Add Your Pick-Up.
You’ll need to tie fishing line from Rim-Top to Hole-Top, letting Hole-Top hang a couple inches below the wire wreath.

Step 8: Cut Those Wires
Once you’ve got about 20 bead-strings attached, it’s time to cut your skeleton wires on the inside.  When these are gone your whole chandelier will be supported by nothing but bead strings and you’ll find it looks more even.

Step 8:  Bead Until you Think you’re Face is Going to Melt Off
In the same way you’ve been beading the top, add bead-strings to the bottom part of your chandelier.   Take a piece of fishing line, tie it to Hole-Top so it leaves two long ends.  Bead these with about half as many beads as you did for your top half of your chandelier, then tie it to your wire wreath.  Repeat.  Continue with adding bead-strings to the top part of your chandelier, as well, until you think it looks full enough.  This is the part where you turn on Pretty Little Liars and fantasize about Ezra Fitz reciting Yeats to you before he ravishes you for hours upon hours.  (Side-Note:  Sorry, Panda!)
 Step 9: Your Dangly-Bit
Once you’re done beading, tie a piece of fishing line to the centre of your crossbar on the top of your chandelier and let it hang down through the middle of the entire structure.  Add something that gives the whole thing an extra bit of sparkle—I used a pendant.

Step 10: Add your Bits and Bobs
Glue some ribbon around the wire wreath to cover up all the bits of sticky-out fishing line.  I added a bow on top of my chandelier which is completely optional.

Step 11: C’est Fini
Be amazed at creating a piece of unadulterated beauty for under 20 bucks, then sit back and revel in your ingenuity and overall fabulousness.

Homemade Gifts or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Bath Bombs

So,  I’ve been doing a lot of my Christmas shopping lately and as I’ve been wandering through throngs of people (seriously, don’t you people have jobs or families to go to?) and sifting through shelves of all the useless shit that’s piled up in the big box stores of this city and I’ve come to a realization that some of you little fruitcakes might have already had:  Christmas gift shopping sucks.  I know what you’re thinking: “But, Oh Crafty One, it’s only November, it can’t be that bad!”  But it is… it’s worse.  I like to spend most of my Christmas holidays not wanting to hang myself from the rafters with a piece of tack-licious tinsel garland, so I stay out of stores by getting all my gifts early.  However, I think I might be giving away too many of my secrets because it seems the masses have figured out my ploy and followed me, Pied-Piper-style, to Walmart and beyond.
So, what is a Crafty Bitch to do when you want to please your friendly-wendlies and loved ones and not kill your fellow shoppers in the process?  Why, you just whip together some hassle-free treats, stick on a gift tag, and call it a day.

One of the most underrated treasures in the world is homemade gifts.  Think about all the absolute crap you’ve gotten in your lifetime and how much it actually meant to you.  If I could take all the shitty teddy bears I’ve gotten in my life and get them together, I wouldn’t have a teddy bear picnic, I’d have a teddy bear bonfire.  I don’t know about you, but I’m at a point in my life where I don’t need any more junk, and so are most of my friends, so why should I be throwing away tons of my hard-earned money at the mall finding that perfect something  when my pal-ios probably already have two of them, or they never wanted it in the first place.  I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, the most valuable thing you can give someone is your time, so why not put together a few time-filled goodies.

Bath Bombs
These are super easy to make and I love them because when you throw them in the drink with ya it’s like soaking in a big glass of champagne.

They’re also awesome  because you can lie and tell people they took you all day and they’ll believe you (Remember: The best relationships are built on a foundation of lies).

Ingredients:
1 cup baking soda:
I say sodium bicarbonate because it helps me remember baking soda, not powder.  Also, it makes me sound like  a fancy scientist: “Hmm, yes, I need some sodium bicarbonate for cleaning my flatware… AND MY DEATH RAY”.  You can get this anywhere, I like Bulk Barn because it’s cheapy-cheapy and I can pick up  a shit load of candy while I’m at it.

1/2 cup of citric acid:
… or as I like to call it– Waldo, because it can be pretty hard to find.  Here’s a few little tricks to finding it though that I didn’t really think of when I went out a-lookin’: Know what it looks like:
(I put a tiny wind-up Santa next to it to give you an idea of how big it should be.  Then I realized that tiny Santa’s aren’t exactly a universal measurement, but fuck it, I’m not taking the photo again.)

Secondly, you’ll probably be asked what citric acid used for just so they’ll know what section of the store to find it in.  The answer is- It should be everywhere, but it’s usually nowhere.  It can be used in small amounts as an additive to jams and jellies so it could be found in the canning section of Walmart, it’s also used to ripen cheese so it might be in your local health food or cooking supply stores, also, you can use it to cut heroine so you might try asking your local drug dealer.  Just joking, smack is whack.  Anyway, I thought I could just go out and ask some nice helpful salespeople and someone would have an idea.  However, most people looked at me like I was trying to build a bomb.  Which I was… a bath bomb!  (Just FYI, it’s probably not a good idea to use that one to said suspicious salespeople.)  After 2 Walmart`s, 4 Shopper’s Drug Marts, 2 Dominions (brawl with rude customer service lady thrown in for free), and 1 Sobey’s,  I had a stroke of genius that involved calling around before heading out.  Of course the first place I called was a wine making supply store that had tons of the stuff.  So, I’d look there first.  If you’re okay to wait, I’d recommend checking out Ebay or the Brewery Lane’s online store, Clickabrew, which is the store I got mine from.

2 teaspoons of cornstarch
Easy enough.

4 teaspoons of grapeseed oil
If you don’t know what grapeseed oil is it’s because it’s been camouflaged next to the olive oil at the grocery store for all these years.

A few drops of food colouring
I use neon food colouring because I’m wild and craaaaazy.

A few drops of fragrance
You can get these at Michael`s or any place with soap making supplies.  I’m not usually one who heeds all the warnings but I’ve heard that you must use soap fragrance as candle scent can irritate you body when added to a bath and I always abide by such disclaimers when my hoo-ha is involved ;).

Extras
There are a few extras you can add to your bath bombs, such as vitamin E oil, but really you’d just be spending money to gild the lily.  Some people add sugar, sprinkles, or candies, but apparently these peoples’ mothers didn’t teach them about the pitfalls of women’s health (Thanks, Ma!).

Instructions (Make sure you pay attention, it’s real tricky)
1.  Mix wet ingredients in a cup (this batch is grapefruit flavoured, in case you were wondering).

2.  Mix dry ingrediants in a bowl.

3.  Add contents of cup to bowl.

4.  Smoosh.   Throughout your smooshing process you will need to add more oil, just keep going until you get a sticky-ish consistency– enough so when you shape it it doesn’t fall apart.  Don’t worry if you go a bit overboard, as long as you don’t turn it into bath bomb-slop you can even it out with more baking soda.  P.S.  You will love how your hands feel after this– soft like buttah.

BAM! you got your mixture.  Use anything you want as a mold- ice cube trays, chocolate molds, plastic Christmas ornaments, it’s all good.
I like the little bubble  containers you get from gumball machines.  Pack it hard (that’s what she said) then extract from your mold.  Again, if they are a little powdery or oily just let them sit for a while to harden up.

Don’t be afraid to mix and match colours, some of my favorites are pink and green melon scented, and white vanilla paired with orange tangerine to make cream-sicle.

Put them in baggies, throw some straw or ribbon on it, and give them to all your smelly friends 🙂 .

Oh, and for all my homies reading this right now:  Guess what prezzie you’re getting!  And for all my friends that don’t like baths:  aw well, maybe you’ll get something next year.

Song of the Day:

Pumpkin Carving Magic: All You Need is Bibbidi, Bobbidi, and Booze

So, I was creepily scouring peoples’ Facebook pictures the other day and I realized that sooo many people were getting out in the world and doing fun, autumny things.  Quite a few people were visiting farms and picking their own pumpkins and what not and while my outdoorsy-ness really does only extend to watching my man rake the leaves from the safety of our deck, I got super jealous that I wasn’t a part of all of these corn maze-ing, pumpkin-picking, hay bale-ing good times.  So, while I was at the liquor store I figured I’d take a short jaunt over to Sobey’s and pluck myself up a nice ripe pumpy and have a little carve-fest date with my dearest.  While he’s all about date night, he knows his place– he leaves the crafting business up to me.  So he played a marvelous game of Call of Duty, and plied me with praise and alcohol (don’t tell me that’s not love), while I whipped up a Halloween wonder in the form of Cinderella’s carriage.

Step one:
Punch a hole in that sucker.  Most Jack-o’-Lanterns have their access holes on top around the stem, but I put one in the back so my wee carriage will look sleek.  So many people have asked me how I managed to carve it without putting a hole in it.  I said: Magic.  That’s not me being clever, that is me being saucy.

Step 2:
Scoop out your pumpkin.  A lot of people call the “stuff” pulp.  However, if you look in the trusty Bitchionary you’ll see it’s actually called “punkin guts”. This part is tedious.  so I recommend cracking open a cold one to help you get through it.  Sigh.

Step 3:
Next I decided to have a door and some windows installed. You don’t have to print off the MS Paint blueprints I’ve attached to the bottom of the page,  I assume you know how to draw an oval.  But I do recommend making a little paper stencil for yourself first so your shapes don’t look wonky and mismatched.

 

If you want to be a fancy pants you can add a tiny working door on your carriage.  Just take the oval you cut out for your doorway, chop it in half and  use some wire (or unbent paperclips if you’re going to be resourceful about it) and make teeny tiny hinges.  Shape one paper clip like a “U” and drive it into the pumpkin wall, then use a second paper clip and thread it trough your first one, then drive it’s prongs into the door.  Give the prongs a little twisty-twisty business so they’ll hold in place, and ba-blam! You got yourself a door. If Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater ever comes looking to buy a house for his missus, I’ve got myself a new gig.


Step 4:
Take your little creation into the back yard and and give a good coating of silver metallic spray paint.  I got mine at Michael’s, or as I like to call it, my happy place.   It cost me about 5 bucks and it dries in a nanosecond which is extremely convenient if you’re impatient like me, however it’s extremely inconvenient if you’re the poor little caterpillar that got a thick coating of silver paint in my garden.  I’ve really got my fingers crossed that he’ll turn into a beautiful, silver butterfly instead of the more probable fate of a beautiful, silver caterpillar-corpse.

Step 5:
The last step is really just adding all your fixin’s.  I made some swirls with plain old Elmer’s craft glue and sprinkled on some glitter.  I used Sterling and Crystal Fine from the Martha Stewart 24 vial glitter multi-pack.  You can use any old sparkles you’ve got lying around the house, I just consider myself a bit of a glitter snob.

I also added some wooden horses that I had crafted up for a Christmas project.  If you want to try your hand and painting them you can get them for about a buck-fiddy each at Michael’s (mmm, happy happy happy).   Although the carriage looks swell without them.  Again, I added some Christmas ribbon but it’s not necessary if you don’t want to be at it.

Lastly I found some wire lying around the house and I wrapped it around a beer bottle a couple times to make curly wheels and just jammed their little pointy ends into the pumpkin to keep them fixed in place.  Glue on some fake moss (or real moss if you’re the type of person who likes to go foraging for your craft supplies).

There, now your ready to go to the ball.  Or kegger, whatever you’re into, really.

Blueprints:

Song of the Day:

Where to Begin?

So, after ten million and a half tries I’ve finally gotten my thoughts coherent enough to actually start this blog.  I’m sure if you search hard enough you’ll find about 20 different blogs with my name on them that have set adrift (let’s have a moment for the abandoned, shall we?).

I’ll make this first entry short and, how I like most things, sweet:
I’m not your average twenty-something girl.  Under all the hairspray and gossip I’ve got a secret yearning for something more.  For years I’ve tried to pinpoint exactly what makes me the happiest so I can harness it, turn it into a career, and ride it all the way into retirement.  Recently, I was smacked into by a Mack Truck-like idea: I’m happiest when I’ve got a glue gun in my hand.  Or a spatula.  Or a glass of champagne.  And while I’m sure I can’t spend the majority of my life solely as an alcoholic, (although, I think partial-alcoholic is somewhat acceptable)  this stroke of genius made me ponder the fact  that in a hustly, bustly world it really is something special when you can sit down for a quiet, little hour and create something to make everything just a little bit prettier.  Or, tastier.

What’s hardest to figure out is that there’s a whole world of craftiness for everyone and that we do not have to look like Martha to put together a damn good centerpiece.  My name is Kelly, I like tattoos, Tool, and booze.  Furthermore, I dies for glitter.  Anyone can let their inner crafty bitch out too, and I’m here to poke and prod until it happens.

So, without further ado, welcome to my blog.  I’m hoping to fill this baby up with detailed recipes for tasties, instructions on artsy shizz for the creatively challenged, and photos of my latest crafty accomplishments (and, probably, failures).  Not to mention, there will be general raves about anything that makes my inner crafter beam with joy and rants about things that make my outer bitch even bitchier.  🙂

Love and Sprinkles,
Crafty Bitch

Song of the Day: